“Sorry, World”
Let me start by saying something nice about Elise Stefanik: She went to Harvard. Then again, so did the Unabomber. You might think it’s unfair to compare Stefanik to the Unabomber, and it is—to the Unabomber….
[B]efore the extinction-level event known as Donald Trump, there were still some House Republicans who could pass as rational beings. Stefanik belonged to her party’s centrist Tuesday Group and was ranked by Georgetown’s Lugar Center as one of the House’s most bipartisan members. (At the time, she touted both distinctions; today, each has been deleted from her congressional website like an embarrassing ex cropped out of a profile pic.)…
…In December of 2020, a month after Trump lost to Joe Biden by over seven million votes, Stefanik signed an amicus brief urging the U.S. Supreme Court to invalidate the results in four battleground states. As if this weren’t enough to establish her cred as an election-denier, on January 6 she voted to decertify Biden’s win in Pennsylvania….
Embracing the Big Lie might’ve sucked for democracy, but it was amazing for Stefanik’s career….
When the House GOP ousted Liz Cheney as conference chair for voting to impeach Trump, Stefanik jumped to succeed her…in her victory speech she neglected to mention that, in two previous conference chair elections, she’d nominated Liz.
…Their feud came to a boil after Stefanik appeared on “Meet the Press” on January 7, 2024, and said of those imprisoned for the Capitol riot, “I have concerns about the treatment of January 6th hostages.” This bold attempt to equate the QAnon Shaman with Nelson Mandela was apparently too much for Cheney, who called Stefanik a “total crackpot.”
…Cheney tweeted out a copy of a statement Stefanik had issued at the time of the insurrection, in which Original Recipe Stefanik seemed to briefly reappear: She decried the “violence and destruction” at the Capitol and called for the rioters to be brought to justice. Confronted with evidence of her hypocrisy, Stefanik met the moment: She quickly deleted the statement from her website.
…Fearing, perhaps, that her debasement wasn’t complete, she pandered to one of the most important constituencies in today’s Republican Party: white nationalists. She voted against holding alt-right parade float Steve Bannon in criminal contempt of Congress and became a regular guest on his podcast, often railing against “The Biden Crime Family.” Hoping to reach Nazis who don’t listen to Bannon’s show, she ran a Facebook ad sharing her highly derivative version of “The Great Replacement” theory….
…On Facebook, Stefanik claimed that Democrats were fomenting “permanent election insurrection by granting amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants.” Apparently, Stefanik only likes insurrections when they’re led by white people.
The Borowitz Report
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/sorry-world?r=1ounsg&utm_medium=ios
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