Not to worry. If you woke up White yesterday, you’ll wake up White tomorrow.

Officer Michael Fanone: “I have kids.”

Facing the aftermath of a failed coup and the abandonment of outgoing President Trump by more nimble Republicans seeking life after impeachment, the MAGA mob needs reassurance.

Not to worry. If you woke up White yesterday, you’ll wake up White tomorrow.

◦ When you return to D.C. you can still call Black Capitol cops “security guards” and “niggers.”

◦ If extra scrutiny from law enforcement makes you uneasy, stick the red cap in your backpack. Voilà! Invisible again.

◦ If you need to go toe to toe with cops at the barricades, stick the cap back on. Bam! They may cut you a break.

◦ MAGA members of Congress— you can still push past the law enforcement officers manning the magnetometer outside the House floor. “Law and order,” “Blue Lives Matter,” yadda yadda….. Read the fine print. Doesn’t apply to you. OK to continue posting campaign ads with automatic weapons pointed at your Black colleagues.

◦ Likewise the mask thing. What’s four more positive colleagues? COVID deaths well under 400,000.

◦ For the 40% of the post-coup Trumpist electorate gearing up for 2024? Have no fear. Insurrection is not a disqualifier. The press will still seek you out; Democrats will still be pressed to understand your demands; your votes will still be counted. Word of caution— if you vote absentee you may want to avoid the mail. The US Postal Service was busted nice and proper. May take time to fix.

(Btw…if you don’t care for the results of the next election there’s always that insurrection thing. Stand back and stand by.)

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